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Pippa Pork: The Movie/Transcript
Act 1: Doing Something (The opening logos appear as the movie begins) (Camera is moving to the house) Pippa: I don't guess that it's going to be a weird day. Muma pork: Pippa, come over right now! Pippa: Yes muma. Muma pork: SPELL MY NAME WITH A CAPITAL M! Pippa: 'M'uma! Muma: Good! (Pippa heads downstairs) Pippa: What makes something good? I KNOW! Music makes you feel good! (Pippa is about to sing. Cover your ears!) �� When life gives you lemons, you gotta make lemomnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade! �� Muma pork: JULIUS PIPPA DIANE PORK DON'T YOU DARE SING OUTSIDE OF NISDEY! Pippa: Holy god my name is Julius?! WHY AM I IN A DRESS?! (Muma facepalms so hard her hand goes through her hand, out the window, and slaps Susan in the face) Muma: Pippa, you have to help me clean the attic! Pippa: We have an attic? And my name is Julius, so- Muma: C is for....Clean the attic! Pippa: You bet! Muma: Good! (Pippa teleports into the attic, sorting things in a trash box) Pippa: Things to keep, um, (five second pause) let's start with trash. Okay trash, cardboard boxes, broken glass, Girge, a wooden box? Why is this here? (Opens box) It's a box of old drawings! I remember I drew these when I was a still a fetus! Girge: How you know what a fetus is? You're like, 6. Pippa: Shut up and get back in the trash box! (Girge sinks) It's that doorbell baby thing I drew, I really like this one! (Pippa flies out of the attic window) Muma: PIPPA STOP I NEED YOU TO SHAVE FATHER'S 55ft BEARD! Girge: You have a moustache and you're woman! Muma: Shut up and stay in the box! (So girge does) Pippa: I can fly in the skyyyyyyyy- (crashes into moon and falls back down on the trash box) Oh wait, I have to get my paper! Wait, why am I sitting on Girge? (Girge groans as Muma pork picks up the box and puts it in the garbage truck) NO WAIT! (too late interstate! (NEXT DAY) (The instrumental to SpongeBob's best day ever plays in the background) Pippa: �� Mr. Sun came up and screamed at me! �� �� He said, 'If you go out there you might freaking die!' �� �� Jumped out of bed and phased through the sun! �� (the sun screams) �� Flew past Susan and flew above the road! �� (Pippa flies past Susan) �� It's the best- �� (Pippa gets hit by a truck) Pippa: IM GOING FLYIN- (Pippa lands in a mountain) ???: Hello Pippa, I shall suck all of the weirdness out of you as I, Shalalaala will take over the entire Pippaverse! Pippa: HIT ME WHERE THE WIND BLOWS! DOESN'T REALLY MAT- Shalalaala: The Pippaverse will be wiped in a few hours if I suck all of the weirdness out of you and your fam- Pippa: Too late interstate! (teleports back to house) Shalalaala: Aw shit! Pippa: DOESN'T REALLY MATTER TO ME! Girge: Where are we? Pippa: IT'S A ZOMBIE! AND A REALLY UGLY ONE TOO!(Starts wacking Girge) Girge: Stop please. Pippa: Oh it's Girge. No wonder it was so ugly. Girge: I feel like I'm fading. Pippa: Be quiet! (LE GASP) Girge: Pippa... you said "be quiet" and not "shut up." Pippa: Oh dear astley. Girge: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a- Pippa: OH DEAR ASTLEY! ITS VALENTINES DAY! Girge: Oh no, how you scre- you're right. It's Valentine's Day and we have to meet your boyfriend! Pippa: wait wtf (Someone knocks in the door and Pippa opens the door) Person: Hello. Pippa: WHY ARE YOU MY BOYFRIEND BUT YOU SOUND LIKE A GIRL?! Person: Umm, I don't know, maybe because I have changed the voice. Also, wanna go to the scary forest? Pippa: AHHHHHH IM ONLY 6!! (Meanwhile) Reporter: I am reporting that cocomelons are invading the city. We'll ask this bystander what happened. Susan: A hobo flew past me and got ran over. Reporter: Inspiring. Susan: What?! Reporter: Huh? It's supposed to be inspiring! Susan: No, it's not. Wait, am I live? Reporter: NOT ANYMORE! Kelp, back to you. Susan: NO- (back to Pippa) Pippa: Cocomelons!? Holy burger french fries chicken mcnuggets! I gotta go! (shoves person out of the way (RIP)) (Girge goes to Pippa) Girge: Wait, what? Why you did do that, your boy- (Girge explodes on the background) Act 2: Meet Lermo Pippa: Back to the house! Category:Transcripts Category:Fanon